Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Relationships

Wow, I can not believe that it has been since September since I last posted. Let's see, what have I been up to since my last post. I started a new job at the Eye Center of Ephraim. I can not express how much I absolutely LOVE my job. I love my co-workers and I love what I do. Kelly and I also moved into a different house. We are still in the same town just different area and what not. Then the holidays flew by like always. My brother in law returned from his LDS mission in Australia on March 13th. Pretty much, we have been staying busy and getting prepared to go to Disneyland for a family vacation with my in laws.

I read an article on relationships the other day, and seeing that my 5th year anniversary is coming up TOMORROW, I thought I would share it with all of you. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.


Spending time together as a couple is an important & necessary part of any relationship. Sometimes you can spend too little time or too much time together. However, every couple should make an effort to spend "some" quality time together on a regular basis. If you are dating, this is easy. After all, that is what dating is about. If you are married or in a long term relationship, you may be thinking---We live together, we see each other everyday. But, that kind of time is not "quality" time and it's not enough to foster a healthy relationship or marriage.
Relationships need tender loving care---they don't just happen. Couples need to reconnect from time to time. For that matter, people need to relax and recharge once in a while. Daily life is stressful on both individuals and on couples. In order to remind yourself why you fell in love and make that you stay healthy & happy in your relationship. Here are some tips on how to spend time together as a couple which do not take much time or effort.

1) Watch T.V. or a movie together and not across the room from each other! Sit on the couch and cuddle or hold hands.This is quality time that does not take any effort at all---you probably do it anyway. Just make an effort to do it with your spouse. Physical contact is important and shows each other that you care.
2) Have dinner together---just you two! I believe you should do this at least once a week and it should be something of the ordinary for you. If you normally eat at home, go out. If you normally eat with kids, do it without them. Whatever you do, make an effort to talk to each other. No cell phones, no computers and no T.V.
3) Take a walk. Sometimes weather prohibits this but their is nothing easier than putting on your shoes and walking around your neighborhood. It is good exercise and you are spending "quality" time together.
4) Go on a "date:. Granted, this may take a little more effort, but it's worth it. It doesn't have to be anything big or it could be. Go to a concert or movie. Or be a little adventurous and go on a bike ride or river cruise. Do something you both enjoy. This way you recharge both your individual batteries & reconnect as a couple.
5) Get away together. A trip is a great but even a day trip or night in a hotel is something to look forward to. The point is to make an effort to be together in a way that expresses your desire to spend time with each other and have fun.

Love is an action, not just a feeling.
It is important for couples to talk about work, parenting, money, issues and the practicalities of life. Yet, it's also important for couples to spend time together simply enjoying each others company as they did when they first met.

Deliberately Romantic. (I don't have kids but I think it is the same way without children)
The busyness of life, particularly when there are children, makes it difficult to purposely make time to relish together without a particular agenda or purpose when you spend all day being a responsible parent, planning schedules, giving advice or dealing with controversies at work. It takes deliberation to switch into connecting mode.

Love as a feeling.
People complain that they've fallen out of love as though they have no choice for the matter. "Love" is often viewed as a feeling. However, "love" actually involves more than just fleeting feelings that come & go. Love requires action over which we do have some control. So there is something we can do about sustaining love in a relationship.

Love as a chosen attitude.
In contrast, the more we appreciate our partners, the more they carry those qualities in an attractive way, an thus, the more likely we are to get that loving feelings. It all starts with our own conscious choice to appreciate the differences, without denigrating ourselves or our partner.

Practical steps to promote the love and happiness between a couple include taking some time whether it's 15 or 30 minutes a day together, having fun, being romantic, listening to music or having an adventure, as long as some how time is taken to enjoy being together. Every week or so, a couple should spend a longer period of time together and consciously invite into the relationship the spirit of awe and mystery of being intimate with their partner.



Kelly, I love you and am so happy to be married to you. I know we have are ups and downs but I do truly love you and glad you have chose me to spend the rest of your life with. I know I do not show it that often but I do love spending time with you.


Thanks everyone and HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TOMORROW BABE!

Signing off... Charle

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